Thoughts?  Who am I missing?

Here’s why.

When people add me, I have to decide whether they are a “Friend” or simply an “Acquaintance.”  With Family, it’s easy.  No problem there.  But I’ll sit and agonize over the Friend vs. Acquaintance thing.

I start wondering if I’m going to hurt people’s feelings, and why they added me in the first place, and what makes a Friend a Friend, and what makes an Acquaintance an Acquaintance, and sure, I’d could create other categories, but would would they be?  That Dude I Met At That Party That One Night?  People I’ve Known For Years But Have Only Had Small Talk With?

I realize I’m being over-analytical.  But hey, I’m a copywriter (amongst other things).  It’s my job to overanalyze and agonize.

Anyway, it all got me thinking . . . “What’s the best definition of a ‘Friend’?”

Here’s what I’ve come up with.

A friend is someone who will lovingly kick your ass when you need it to be kicked.

I wrote a post around this time last year called, “I Resolve To Make My Friends Angry.”  Now, obviously, I titled it that way because I wanted people to read it, and I had a pretty good hunch that a provocative title like that would hook people in.  And it did.

A year later, I think the principle remains true.  A real friend (and you can only have a certain number of “real” friends) will kick your ass when you need it.  A real friend cares about you too much to let you act like an idiot all the time.  A real friend is so deeply invested in you, that your pain is his pain, and your joy is his joy.

So, maybe what I need to do to solve my Google+ dilemma is create these categories.

1.  Family

2.  Loving Ass-Kickers

3.  People I Know In Real Life

4.  Online Business Folks Who I Hope To Some Day Meet

5.  Everyone Else

What do you think?  Problem solved?  I mean, obviously, my “circles” will change and develop over time, but I can deal with that as it comes . . .

Feel free to kick my ass in the comments.

Y’all remember those?  The seemingly menial tasks that our parents used to give us as a way to teach us discipline . . . as a way to teach us to respect the places where we lived and the things that we owned?

There isn’t a single kid in the world you enjoys doing chores.  The word “chore” just carries a negative connotation, no matter who you ask.

I bought my first house just over five months ago.  And I just turned 23.  I’m pretty damn proud of that fact, but that’s not the point of this post.

The point is that, while chores used to be something that I absolutely dreaded and abhorred while growing up, they now give me more satisfaction than I would’ve ever imagine possible.

I love mowing my lawn.  I love weed eating.  I love taking out the trash, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping the floor, and vacuuming the carpet.  Seriously.

And I think I’ve put my finger on the why.

When you buy a house, ideally, you want to be proud of it.  You want it to look good, smell good, and feel good.  When people come over, you want them to think, “Damn.  This guy’s house is badass.  It’s clean, spacious, homey, and comfortable.”

I think that’s part of why “chores” are no longer chores for me.  I take pride in my work now.  I take pride in having a clean kitchen, a well-groomed yard, and a well-organized room.  It’s all mine.  I own it.  And I want to be proud of it.

I think the same principle applies in the area of business.  You need to make sure that your employees don’t feel like they are just cleaning someone else’s house.  They need to feel a sense of ownership – of investment – in every project they work on.

They need to feel a sense of meaning and contribution.  They need to feel like whatever they’re working on will some day benefit the overall mission that everyone in the company is 100% committed to.

Give your employees a “room in your house”, so to speak.  That’s what I’d do.

Joseph, Ben and I all recently acquired motorcycles.  Well, actually… they acquired motorcycles.  I acquired a scooter.  A bright yellow, 250cc Honda Helix.  I get laughed at a lot, but it only makes me feel more cool.

Anyway, we all got back from a ride the other night, and I was helping Joseph put his bike cover on.  We were walking around the motorcycle in circles… pulling, tugging, straightening, making sure that the whole thing got covered.

At one point, we were on opposite sides of the bike, and we both happened to pull at the same time.  We could feel the tension on the cover, and my mind immediately went to this blog post.

That’s friendship, in a second.  Two friends, attempting something good (covering a bike to keep it out of the rain), finding success, experiencing tension, but ultimately resolving the issues and making things better for everyone.

It’s not easy, but it’s good.

So pull and press on each other.  Make each other better, even if it’s uncomfortable at times.

That’s a true friend.

I no longer work with Citadel Broadcasting.  I’m no longer James Lepine from the Citadel Traffic Network.

Now I’m… James Lepine from the home internet connection… working with an Internet Marketing company that will introduce me in due time.

Anyway, I told you about how our power was out last week, right?  No power = no internet connection = finding a new place to work.

I spent Monday and Tuesday vacillating between my parent’s house and Guillermos (next to Chiles on RP… best coffee in town).

On Wednesday, I was sort of tired of working from either places… it was just getting hard for me to concentrate, and I needed a change of scenery.

Wednesday afternoon, I was on my scooter, heading to Starbucks, even though I really, really didn’t want another cup of coffee.

And that’s when it hit me: You don’t HAVE to go to a coffee shop.  You can really go to any establishment that has internet access…

Why don’t you go up to The House and get a Blue Moon?  Perfect day for a wheat beer…

A huge smile was making its way across my face at that point.

Freedom.  All because I broadened my horizons.

I had let my thinking become narrow.  Either A or B.  Parents house or coffee shop.  No in between.

There is almost always a C.  And don’t you forget it.

If you’re stuck in a situation you don’t like, and you only see two ways of dealing with it, then stop.  Take a deep breath, and reconsider.

Think outside the box.  Challenge your own assumptions.  Think critically.

Often times, a new solution will emerge.  One that you never thought possible, or didn’t even know existed.  An unconventional method.  A straying from the norm.

I’m not suggesting you do anything illegal or immoral.  I’m just suggesting that you challenge your assumptions, challenge your routines, challenge your personal status quo.

It’s the only way we grow, after all.

On Sunday, a humongous tree fell from our neighbors yard.  It took out the power lines stretching across our yard, it ripped siding off the back of the house, it crushed both the fence that we share… AND the fence that my other neighbor and I share.  Yeah.  That’s how big this tree is.

Anyway, we’ve been without power all week, and it’s kinda been a pain in the butt.  Especially with my new job and all.  But hey, things could be a lot worse.  Look at pictures from Joplin and try and tell me otherwise.  I’m counting my blessings.

I was hanging out with some friends on Sunday night, just a few hours after the tree fell.  We were up at The Fountain watching the Bulls/Heat game and having a few beers.

The game ended, and we paid our tabs and walked out.  As we were saying our goodbyes, I meekly offered that the guys could come hang at our house, even though we didn’t have power or anything.  Surprisingly, they accepted, and we all headed that way.

Fast forward a few hours and you’d see five guys sitting around in our man cave, surrounded by kerosene lamps and candles.  You’d see five guys who had spent the past couple of hours without TV, without music, without distractions… just people.  Just conversation.  Just honesty.  Just depth.  It was amazing.

I’ve reflected on that night several times throughout the week.  I want to make nights like that happen on a more consistent basis.  I want to “unplug” and be fully alive and engaged when I’m with my friends.

And I encourage you to do the same!

On Saturday, I went up to Searcy and played some music for Chick-Fil-A’s “Family Fun Day.”  They had the big, inflatable jungle gyms, and hula-hoops, and sidewalk chalk.

The weather wasn’t great, but it went well overall.  They paid me with 10 combo meal vouchers and 30 bucks for gas.  And now I can put “DJ” on my resume.  Fair trade, right?

After that, I drove up to Jonesboro and spent a night there, seeing a bunch of old friends from the college days.  We got dinner and went bowling and had a great time hanging out and catching up.

I left for Memphis around 1:30 the next afternoon, and met a few buddies up there for Memphis in May.  We saw Ziggy Marley, Greg Allman, The Avett Brothers and Wilco.  I’ve got some videos that I’m planning on uploading to YouTube.

We left Memphis just before midnight, driving home through the rain and storms, and made it home right around 2:00.

And I lost my phone charger somewhere along the way.

I texted my buddy in Jonesboro.  Hey man, did you happen to find my phone charger at your place?

He checked for me and then wrote back, Nope, sorry dude.

Dang, I thought.  Guess I need to buy a new one.

Before I went to bed last night, I thought I’d just get on Twitter and see if anybody had an extra iPod/iPhone cord laying around that they weren’t using.

My friend Jacob answered about five minutes later, saying, Yeah dude, I’ve got like, three extra cords.  You can have one, no problem.

It was that easy.

I was talking with a friend last night about how hard it can be to ask for help some times.  We were talking about how we are both some times guilty of wanting to do everything by ourselves.

Some times it’s because we’re too proud to ask for help.  Some times it’s because we think someone will screw it up if we ask them to help.  And some times it’s just because we’re too scared of getting rejected.

My charge to you: don’t let any of those reasons keep you from seeking help from others, while actively helping those same people in return.  And even take it a step further: help people who you know won’t be able to help you back.

True Community is about leaning on each other and being vulnerable to ask for help, and at the same time, being strong enough to give help in return.

It takes time, and it can often be messy and ugly and awkward.  But in the end, it’s good, and completely worth it.

Even if it’s as simple as asking for a charger for your iPod.

Judge Judy and Maury always seemed to be on, at least when I was tuning in.

And I was IMMEDIATELY intrigued with both of them.

But I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, exactly.

Now I know.

I grew up in a middle-class family in the suburbs.  My grandma paid for all five of us kids to go to a private Christian school, that is, after my mom home-schooled us (up to 5^th grade for my sisters and me, up to 8^th grade for my younger brothers.)

I am incredibly thankful for my upbringing.  My parents encouraged me to work hard, read constantly, use my imagination, and stay strong in the Faith.

I had things pretty easy.  We weren’t rich, but we always got a couple of new shirts at the start of the school year, and my dad gave me his 1991 Oldsmoble Eighty-Eight when I turned 16, and I got an allowance of somewhere under $100 every month.

When I tuned in for Judge Judy and Maury, I saw conflict.  Real, messy, intense conflict.  And I ate it up.  Because, without conflict, our lives lack meaning.

You remember those girls in high school who would always be like, “OhMyGAWD, I HATE drama… I just hate it… why can’t we all just get along???”

And yet, weren’t they almost always the girls who were perpetuating the very drama that they purported to “hate”?

My advice: pursue meaningful conflict.  Pursue conflict that actually brings about real, lasting change for the better.  For yourself, and for your Community.

Don’t pursue vapid, self-interested conflict.  That’s pointless and stupid.  Pursue the conflict that will bring about the right type of change… the changes that need to be made.

I was putting on my favorite khaki pants and the old braided reversible belt that I’ve had since I was in 8^th grade, probably, and that I absolutely love.

That pair of pants has more belt loops than other pants that I’ve owned, which I like, but in the process of putting on my belt, I unknowingly missed a loop – the second one from the start.

I didn’t notice until I started tightening the belt around my waist.

I thought, Crap.  That’s annoying.

And then I thought, Wait, I think I can just thread the belt buckle back through those two loops, and then bring it back to the center.  I think it’ll slide through those loops easily.

I was right.  Problem solved, in a matter of seconds.

Not that it would’ve taken me an hour to do it the other way, but I think there’s an important principle to that story.

I could’ve sighed deeply, ripped my belt off, and angrily fixed the problem.

I didn’t do that.  I was calm, I considered the problem, and I came up with the easiest, most efficient solution possible.

Now, obviously putting on a belt isn’t that big of a deal.  It was probably the difference between 10 seconds and 30 seconds.  But still.

The principle remains.  When you come across a problem in your life, STOP, breathe deeply, consider the issue, and then calmly pursue the most intelligent solution possible.

And all of that from putting on a belt.  Now you know a little bit more of how this crazy mind of mine works.  :)

I started full-time on February 1^st, and now, a short three months later, I’m walking away.

An amazing opportunity came up about two weeks ago, and I jumped on it like a 10-year-old on a trampoline.

Over the past year I’ve applied for NPR’s Kroc Fellowship, an internship with Paste Magazine, a position at KCRW, an internship with Daytrotter, and a spot at RhythmInTwenty.

I didn’t get any of ‘em.

And now, I think I know why.

God was teaching me patience.  He was teaching me to be faithful, and to keep working hard, and to trust that He’d line up the perfect situation for me in His timing.

And he’s done just that.

Starting May 2^nd, I’ll be working from home with a few amazing people, scattered across the U.S.  I can’t tell you more than that at this point, but you’ll be hearing plenty about it when the time comes.

I’m thankful for the opportunity I had to work at Citadel Broadcasting.  But I’m grinning from ear to ear about what’s next.

Have a lovely Easter weekend, y’all.  About 2,000 years ago, human history took a turn for the best.  Jesus made it possible for us to find true, abundant life.

So give it all ya got.  Love without stopping, and keep on keeping on.