FAQ
DISCLAIMER: This is probably the most cynical thing I’ve written in a very long time. I don’t actually feel this way… at least mostly. I just thought it would be fun to write. But seriously, if you want to print this off and give it to your parents… DO IT.
Tomorrow is my last day at Family Life. I’ve been interning here all summer, just under 40 hours a week, in the video department. I have learned that I do not feel the fullness of God when I am shooting/editing video. I had a hunch that that would be the case, and this summer confirmed it.
Yesterday, I was whining at my dad about how I am sick of people asking me, “So, what’s next?” He suggested that I create a FAQ sheet, and when people ask me, I can just give them a copy! I think he was kidding, but here it is anyway.
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FAQ’s re: James Lepine’s Future as a Human
When do you head back to school?
I have graduated. On May 8th of this year, I received my degree. I majored in Broadcast Journalism and minored in Political Science.
Oh! Well that must be a nice feeling. So, do you want to go into broadcast? Like, radio, or TV…
Thank you for clarifying what you meant by “broadcast.” Even though I majored in it, I some times forget what it means. And I don’t know if I want to “go into it.” I worked at a radio station during all four of my college years, and I don’t really want to rush into a 9-5 job.
So, have you applied for something, or what are you gonna do?
No, I actually decided to just not apply for anything. I’m planning on living at home until I retire – from doing nothing – at age 65.
Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I applied at Daytrotter. And Paste, WEXP/AIR, RhythmInTwenty, and Little Rock Christian. But I didn’t get any of them. But I’m glad to talk about it again! Thank you for your genuine concern with my future!
I probably won’t get the free trip to Donald Miller’s writing conference either, but I’ll letcha know on that.
Oh, and in case you didn’t know, my driver’s licensce is suspended until December 1st, because I got a DWI on May 1st, and so I’ll probably just stick around Little Rock until then, unless something comes up. I mean, my cousin is getting married in December, and I’m in Micah Sims’ – oh, you know him? sweet. – Well, yeah, I’m in his wedding on New Years Day. So hopefully I’ll have a plan by then.
And where are you in the line of kids again?
I’m actually right in the middle! So, yeah.
OH, you want me to catch you up on everybody else. Ok, sweet. Well, Amy – yeah, she’s the oldest – she and her husband and one and a half year old daughter – they all moved to Upland, Indiana. Her husband – Jack, yes – he’s teaching at Taylor University this Fall. They are still adjusting from moving from HIP, URBAN, CULTURALLY DIVERSE Seattle, to RURAL, HOMOGENEOUS, BUBBLE-ENVIRONMENT Upland. But they’ll be okay.
Katie, and her husband – yes, Elliott – they’re in Brooklyn, and they LOVE IT. Katie is in H-R at Turner Construction – they are actually the company that built the new New York Yankees stadium.
*attempt at changing the subject… by the way, did you hear that George Steinbrenner died recently? You didn’t? Oh. Okay, nevermind.
Yeah, so, John. He’s a sophomore at the University of Tulsa. He loves it there. Why did he decide to go there? Because he got an awesome scholarship. And yes! My dad and mom did just so happen to go there. WHAT A GREAT MEMORY YOU HAVE!
David will be a Junior at Little Rock Christian (the school at which I was not hired. Let me know if you wanna rehash any of that.) He is awesome at everything he does, too. He and John will probably both get awesome jobs as soon as they graduate from their out-of-state, fully-paid-for educations.
Which reminds me, did I tell you that I don’t yet have a job?
Okay, well I gotta get going!
Are you sure?! I’d love to keep chatting!! You don’t have any more questions you can think of?! Wait, let me ask you some!!
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I’m doing my best to be patient and joyful.
The path of right-living people is level. The Leveler evens the road for the right-living. We’re in no hurry, God. We're content to linger in the path sign-posted with your decisions. Who you are and what you've done are all we'll ever want.
Isaiah 26:7-8
How We Get Sad: Part 2
- I only read Proverbs 17. I’ve been reading at least three chapters every morning. I was having trouble focusing, and it was the weekend, and I just decided to save it for later.
- I consciously left my wallet at home, not remembering that I would need it to purchase guitar strings. Although I repaid my Dad almost five minutes later, that bugged me.
- Dad asked if we wanted popcorn, and I said yes. This one might be hard to understand, but stay with me. Because we got the “free refill size” on both our popcorn and our drink, my “get the most out of every purchase” side kicked in. It is a side of my personality that I Both love And hate. I feel it is imperative that I drink as much coke and eat as much popcorn as I possibly can, because I don’t want to waste any of my dad’s money. (And Amy, I agree with you - what we eat does influence our mood.)
- Which is why I was also bothered that I had to leave the theatre and miss part of the movie. Again, in my mind, I am wasting money and time. I realize that this is a slightly neurotic way to think.
- I put my guitar strings on wrong. I’ve been playing guitar for almost 10 years. I should know how to put on guitar strings. They still work and all, but honestly, how did I mess that up?
- Then, rather than get out of the house and clear my head, and I sat up I my room and watched LOST.
- Which lead me to think about how I want to feel wanted by someone, which is a feeling we all have from time to time.
- And about the woman with the Miller Lite, and about how it’d probably be fun to sneak a beer into an 11:00 showing of a movie. Not too get drunk, but because beer is good, and it would be exciting, but I know that I can’t do it.
- And then why I hadn’t I heard back from Paste or RhythmInTwenty? And why can I never remember how to spell Rhythm?!
- And then about how it is so easy to let my thoughts cycle out of control, and about how easily I give into it.
Now, maybe you are thinking, “I’ve had a similar experience. What should we do when this happens?!” Maybe you are not thinking that. I'll tell you what I came up with in tomorrow's blog post.
Living A Better Story
Stories are supposed to have a dramatic arc – a tipping point, perhaps. I think God has brought me to the tipping point in the story we’re writing together.
Three months ago, I got arrested for a DWI. I was driving some friends who had also been drinking, and when I tried to turn the car around at some railroad tracks, God seized the opportunity to lodge one of my tires in between the ties.
I blew a .22 into the portable breathalyzer and spent a night in jail. I made a collect call to my folks, and they came to bail me out.
A week later, I walked across the stage at Arkansas State University and received my college diploma. A degree in Broadcast Journalism. A minor in Political Science. A departure from Jonesboro. With honors.
About two weeks later, I drove home drunk again.
A couple of weeks after that, I drunkenly witnessed to a homeless guy at a bar. It was my birthday. I had chugged a bunch of whiskey before going to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and all I thought about during the movie was how I wished it was over so I could go drink more.
Two weeks after that, I drank (most of) a bottle of wine called “Bohemian Highway.” It was Tuesday.
The next night, I met with the elders at church, expressing my desire to lead worship on Sunday mornings.
That was the night – four weeks ago today – when I decided to quit drinking. I’ve stayed true to that decision, if you don’t count the communion wine at church.
In about two weeks, my internship in the video production department at Family Life will be over. I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me, “So, what’s next?”
I can tell you what’s not next.
I didn’t get in at RhythmInTwenty.
I didn’t get in at Paste.
I didn’t get in at Daytrotter.
And I didn’t get in at KEXP/AIR.
I’m not moving to Birmingham to be close to a girl that I’ve dated off and on for the past six years.
I’m not taking a job in radio.
But I’m writing a story, and I think it’s the one that God would have me write. The one where I sell my car, and ride my bike, and clear my head, and pray non-stop, and learn what it means to truly trust in Him.
Don told us to be specific with what we write… And I’d love to be specific. I’d love to say, “This is exactly what I’m going to do over the next couple of months and years.” But that’s what I’ve been saying for the past 22 years, and God has brought me to a point where I just don’t know what my next move is going to be.
So, this is as specific as I can be right now.
My goal for the next couple of the months is exactly what it was 4 weeks ago. To lead worship at church. Maybe that’s not much of a goal, but it’s what I got. The challenge was given to me by an agnostic friend before he took off for basic training with the Air Force. He said, “I don’t wanna come home and see you burned out, drinking all the time, and not doing anything with you life.” That stuck with me.
Leading others before the throne of God is a privilege and an honor, so I will be both waiting patiently, and taking the necessary steps, to get to a point where the elder board says, "Yeah. You're our guy this week. Go for it."
That’s probably gonna mean more lunches with older guys (which I love,) and helping with sound, or playing djembe, or teaching at Kids Kamp, or going on the Youth Retreat. Areas towards which I would not normally gravitate… but I am confident that God will teach me humility and joy throughout them.
I’m also going to plan to write five days a week, even if it’s not much. I want to average 1,000 hits a week on my website, and the way to make that happen is to keep flexing my creative muscles and inviting others to join in the conversation.
This is what my grandma told me recently: “Jim, talented people don’t always know what they want to do. There are a lot of things you could do – it’s just figuring out what you’re supposed to do.”
Thank God for grandmas. And for grace, when we reach our tipping points.
So, yes, I want to attend this conference because I want to learn more about co-authoring my story with God. But I also want to take my grandma out to lunch and say, “Guess what? I figured out what I’m supposed to do!” And I want God’s grace and glory to be evident through it all.
More information on this contest here, and in the video below.