Living A Better Story
Stories are supposed to have a dramatic arc – a tipping point, perhaps. I think God has brought me to the tipping point in the story we’re writing together.
Three months ago, I got arrested for a DWI. I was driving some friends who had also been drinking, and when I tried to turn the car around at some railroad tracks, God seized the opportunity to lodge one of my tires in between the ties.
I blew a .22 into the portable breathalyzer and spent a night in jail. I made a collect call to my folks, and they came to bail me out.
A week later, I walked across the stage at Arkansas State University and received my college diploma. A degree in Broadcast Journalism. A minor in Political Science. A departure from Jonesboro. With honors.
About two weeks later, I drove home drunk again.
A couple of weeks after that, I drunkenly witnessed to a homeless guy at a bar. It was my birthday. I had chugged a bunch of whiskey before going to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and all I thought about during the movie was how I wished it was over so I could go drink more.
Two weeks after that, I drank (most of) a bottle of wine called “Bohemian Highway.” It was Tuesday.
The next night, I met with the elders at church, expressing my desire to lead worship on Sunday mornings.
That was the night – four weeks ago today – when I decided to quit drinking. I’ve stayed true to that decision, if you don’t count the communion wine at church.
In about two weeks, my internship in the video production department at Family Life will be over. I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me, “So, what’s next?”
I can tell you what’s not next.
I didn’t get in at RhythmInTwenty.
I didn’t get in at Paste.
I didn’t get in at Daytrotter.
And I didn’t get in at KEXP/AIR.
I’m not moving to Birmingham to be close to a girl that I’ve dated off and on for the past six years.
I’m not taking a job in radio.
But I’m writing a story, and I think it’s the one that God would have me write. The one where I sell my car, and ride my bike, and clear my head, and pray non-stop, and learn what it means to truly trust in Him.
Don told us to be specific with what we write… And I’d love to be specific. I’d love to say, “This is exactly what I’m going to do over the next couple of months and years.” But that’s what I’ve been saying for the past 22 years, and God has brought me to a point where I just don’t know what my next move is going to be.
So, this is as specific as I can be right now.
My goal for the next couple of the months is exactly what it was 4 weeks ago. To lead worship at church. Maybe that’s not much of a goal, but it’s what I got. The challenge was given to me by an agnostic friend before he took off for basic training with the Air Force. He said, “I don’t wanna come home and see you burned out, drinking all the time, and not doing anything with you life.” That stuck with me.
Leading others before the throne of God is a privilege and an honor, so I will be both waiting patiently, and taking the necessary steps, to get to a point where the elder board says, "Yeah. You're our guy this week. Go for it."
That’s probably gonna mean more lunches with older guys (which I love,) and helping with sound, or playing djembe, or teaching at Kids Kamp, or going on the Youth Retreat. Areas towards which I would not normally gravitate… but I am confident that God will teach me humility and joy throughout them.
I’m also going to plan to write five days a week, even if it’s not much. I want to average 1,000 hits a week on my website, and the way to make that happen is to keep flexing my creative muscles and inviting others to join in the conversation.
This is what my grandma told me recently: “Jim, talented people don’t always know what they want to do. There are a lot of things you could do – it’s just figuring out what you’re supposed to do.”
Thank God for grandmas. And for grace, when we reach our tipping points.
So, yes, I want to attend this conference because I want to learn more about co-authoring my story with God. But I also want to take my grandma out to lunch and say, “Guess what? I figured out what I’m supposed to do!” And I want God’s grace and glory to be evident through it all.
More information on this contest here, and in the video below.