The Cigar vs. The Fork
In yesterday’s post, I talked about the difference between chasing cheap, temporal thrills, and living a life that is dedicated to leaving a legacy – a legacy of love, joy and service to others.
However, during the journey of leaving a legacy, we all indulge in good things that are merely a means to an end – i.e, a good cigar, a good meal, a good bottle of wine, or a combination of the three.
A couple of weeks ago, at the Family Life staff conference, I heard Gary Thomas tell a story about two of Christianity’s most famed evangelicals: Charles Spurgeon and Dwight L. Moody.
It is rumored that Spurgeon invited Moody to come speak at an event he had put together. Moody accepted, came, and spent the entire time talking about the evils of tobacco, and why God doesn’t want Chrisitians to smoke.
Spurgeon, a cigar smoker, was obviously offended at what seemed to be a rather cheap shot taken by Moody. However, he regained his composure, walked up to the podium, and said, “Mr. Moody, I’ll put down my cigars when you put your fork.”
You see, Mr. Moody was, well, shall we say… rotund.
The implications of Spurgeon’s proposition, I believe, are two-fold.
Firstly, it is inappropriate and arrogant to use a public speaking engagement to point out what you believe to be the sin of a brother, simply because you find that sin to be especially abhorrent.
It’s the log/speck in the eye principle – don’t go around pointing out the sins in others lives until you’ve spent some time dealing with your own issues. For Moody, a main issue was gluttony, which brings me to what I believe is the second implication.
The culture has a way of conditioning us to believe that some things are worse than others. Maybe in the South, we’ve grown to believe that eating as much of we want, of whatever we want, no matter how much we weigh, is perfectly acceptable. We excuse, ignore, and placate concerns regarding gluttony.
But then, we think that smoking cigarettes, or drinking a bunch of beer, or seeing R-rated movies is completely unacceptable. And maybe in some other area of our country – the Northwest? – they think the exact opposite. Maybe they can’t stand seeing people eating more than they should.
But the fact of it is, as Spurgeon pointed out – albeit, somewhat blithely – it is excess itself which should be avoided. If a guy is smoking five cigars a day, or a five a week even, maybe he should rethink his actions. Likewise, if a guy is eat five donuts for breakfast, and two burgers for lunch, and a whole chicken for dinner, he might want to reconsider his dietary choices.
What I’m hoping is that, instead of picking and choosing which form of excess bothers us the most, and then harpooning people when we see them making bad choices – I’m hoping that we can all encourage each other, with LOVE, to be more balanced, and make smarter decisions. And NOT forget that none of us is perfect. We all slip into – or directly choose – excess, at one point or another.
Death can come by cigar, or death can come by fork. But LIFE – true, full, abundant life, made possible by an ultimate sacrifice of LOVE – is only found when we realize that both things – the cigar and the fork – are means to an end, and meant to be enjoyed… but that neither will bring lasting joy, pleasure or satisfaction, when all is said and done.
I would rather get in trouble for recklessly over-loving than fearfully under-loving.
-Derek Webb
Still, it’s what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he’d see life come from it – life, life, and more life. And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.
Isaiah 53:10
FAQ
DISCLAIMER: This is probably the most cynical thing I’ve written in a very long time. I don’t actually feel this way… at least mostly. I just thought it would be fun to write. But seriously, if you want to print this off and give it to your parents… DO IT.
Tomorrow is my last day at Family Life. I’ve been interning here all summer, just under 40 hours a week, in the video department. I have learned that I do not feel the fullness of God when I am shooting/editing video. I had a hunch that that would be the case, and this summer confirmed it.
Yesterday, I was whining at my dad about how I am sick of people asking me, “So, what’s next?” He suggested that I create a FAQ sheet, and when people ask me, I can just give them a copy! I think he was kidding, but here it is anyway.
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FAQ’s re: James Lepine’s Future as a Human
When do you head back to school?
I have graduated. On May 8th of this year, I received my degree. I majored in Broadcast Journalism and minored in Political Science.
Oh! Well that must be a nice feeling. So, do you want to go into broadcast? Like, radio, or TV…
Thank you for clarifying what you meant by “broadcast.” Even though I majored in it, I some times forget what it means. And I don’t know if I want to “go into it.” I worked at a radio station during all four of my college years, and I don’t really want to rush into a 9-5 job.
So, have you applied for something, or what are you gonna do?
No, I actually decided to just not apply for anything. I’m planning on living at home until I retire – from doing nothing – at age 65.
Oh, wait! I almost forgot – I applied at Daytrotter. And Paste, WEXP/AIR, RhythmInTwenty, and Little Rock Christian. But I didn’t get any of them. But I’m glad to talk about it again! Thank you for your genuine concern with my future!
I probably won’t get the free trip to Donald Miller’s writing conference either, but I’ll letcha know on that.
Oh, and in case you didn’t know, my driver’s licensce is suspended until December 1st, because I got a DWI on May 1st, and so I’ll probably just stick around Little Rock until then, unless something comes up. I mean, my cousin is getting married in December, and I’m in Micah Sims’ – oh, you know him? sweet. – Well, yeah, I’m in his wedding on New Years Day. So hopefully I’ll have a plan by then.
And where are you in the line of kids again?
I’m actually right in the middle! So, yeah.
OH, you want me to catch you up on everybody else. Ok, sweet. Well, Amy – yeah, she’s the oldest – she and her husband and one and a half year old daughter – they all moved to Upland, Indiana. Her husband – Jack, yes – he’s teaching at Taylor University this Fall. They are still adjusting from moving from HIP, URBAN, CULTURALLY DIVERSE Seattle, to RURAL, HOMOGENEOUS, BUBBLE-ENVIRONMENT Upland. But they’ll be okay.
Katie, and her husband – yes, Elliott – they’re in Brooklyn, and they LOVE IT. Katie is in H-R at Turner Construction – they are actually the company that built the new New York Yankees stadium.
*attempt at changing the subject… by the way, did you hear that George Steinbrenner died recently? You didn’t? Oh. Okay, nevermind.
Yeah, so, John. He’s a sophomore at the University of Tulsa. He loves it there. Why did he decide to go there? Because he got an awesome scholarship. And yes! My dad and mom did just so happen to go there. WHAT A GREAT MEMORY YOU HAVE!
David will be a Junior at Little Rock Christian (the school at which I was not hired. Let me know if you wanna rehash any of that.) He is awesome at everything he does, too. He and John will probably both get awesome jobs as soon as they graduate from their out-of-state, fully-paid-for educations.
Which reminds me, did I tell you that I don’t yet have a job?
Okay, well I gotta get going!
Are you sure?! I’d love to keep chatting!! You don’t have any more questions you can think of?! Wait, let me ask you some!!
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I’m doing my best to be patient and joyful.
The path of right-living people is level. The Leveler evens the road for the right-living. We’re in no hurry, God. We're content to linger in the path sign-posted with your decisions. Who you are and what you've done are all we'll ever want.
Isaiah 26:7-8
Living A Better Story
Stories are supposed to have a dramatic arc – a tipping point, perhaps. I think God has brought me to the tipping point in the story we’re writing together.
Three months ago, I got arrested for a DWI. I was driving some friends who had also been drinking, and when I tried to turn the car around at some railroad tracks, God seized the opportunity to lodge one of my tires in between the ties.
I blew a .22 into the portable breathalyzer and spent a night in jail. I made a collect call to my folks, and they came to bail me out.
A week later, I walked across the stage at Arkansas State University and received my college diploma. A degree in Broadcast Journalism. A minor in Political Science. A departure from Jonesboro. With honors.
About two weeks later, I drove home drunk again.
A couple of weeks after that, I drunkenly witnessed to a homeless guy at a bar. It was my birthday. I had chugged a bunch of whiskey before going to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and all I thought about during the movie was how I wished it was over so I could go drink more.
Two weeks after that, I drank (most of) a bottle of wine called “Bohemian Highway.” It was Tuesday.
The next night, I met with the elders at church, expressing my desire to lead worship on Sunday mornings.
That was the night – four weeks ago today – when I decided to quit drinking. I’ve stayed true to that decision, if you don’t count the communion wine at church.
In about two weeks, my internship in the video production department at Family Life will be over. I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me, “So, what’s next?”
I can tell you what’s not next.
I didn’t get in at RhythmInTwenty.
I didn’t get in at Paste.
I didn’t get in at Daytrotter.
And I didn’t get in at KEXP/AIR.
I’m not moving to Birmingham to be close to a girl that I’ve dated off and on for the past six years.
I’m not taking a job in radio.
But I’m writing a story, and I think it’s the one that God would have me write. The one where I sell my car, and ride my bike, and clear my head, and pray non-stop, and learn what it means to truly trust in Him.
Don told us to be specific with what we write… And I’d love to be specific. I’d love to say, “This is exactly what I’m going to do over the next couple of months and years.” But that’s what I’ve been saying for the past 22 years, and God has brought me to a point where I just don’t know what my next move is going to be.
So, this is as specific as I can be right now.
My goal for the next couple of the months is exactly what it was 4 weeks ago. To lead worship at church. Maybe that’s not much of a goal, but it’s what I got. The challenge was given to me by an agnostic friend before he took off for basic training with the Air Force. He said, “I don’t wanna come home and see you burned out, drinking all the time, and not doing anything with you life.” That stuck with me.
Leading others before the throne of God is a privilege and an honor, so I will be both waiting patiently, and taking the necessary steps, to get to a point where the elder board says, "Yeah. You're our guy this week. Go for it."
That’s probably gonna mean more lunches with older guys (which I love,) and helping with sound, or playing djembe, or teaching at Kids Kamp, or going on the Youth Retreat. Areas towards which I would not normally gravitate… but I am confident that God will teach me humility and joy throughout them.
I’m also going to plan to write five days a week, even if it’s not much. I want to average 1,000 hits a week on my website, and the way to make that happen is to keep flexing my creative muscles and inviting others to join in the conversation.
This is what my grandma told me recently: “Jim, talented people don’t always know what they want to do. There are a lot of things you could do – it’s just figuring out what you’re supposed to do.”
Thank God for grandmas. And for grace, when we reach our tipping points.
So, yes, I want to attend this conference because I want to learn more about co-authoring my story with God. But I also want to take my grandma out to lunch and say, “Guess what? I figured out what I’m supposed to do!” And I want God’s grace and glory to be evident through it all.
More information on this contest here, and in the video below.
So Many Books, So Much Unemployed Time (in two weeks. probably.)
My internship with Family Life is over about two weeks from today. I don’t yet have plans about what I’m doing next. Other than finishing the 6th season of LOST (if I haven’t already), and reading a lot of books.
I have a list of just over 15 books that I want to read. I’m gonna post them here, and if you’ve heard of/read/want to recommend any of them to me, please do!
- Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life - Anne Lamott
- Culture Making – Andy Crouch
- Hear No Evil: My Story of Innocence, Music and the Holy Ghost – Matthew Paul Turner
- Imaginary Jesus - Matt Mikalatos
- The Things They Carried – Tim O’Brien
- The Unlikely Disciple – Kevin Roose
- Rediscovering Values – Jim Wallis
- The Value of Nothing – Raj Patel
- Three Cups of Tea – Greg Mortenson
- A People’s History of the United States – Howard Zinn
- Oh The Glory of it All – Sean Wilsey
- Eating Animals – Jonathan Saffron Foer
- Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace
- The Good Man Jesus and The Scoundrel Christ - Phillip Pullman
- How We Decide - Jonah Lehrer
- Can We Be Good Without God? A Conversation About Truth, Morality, Culture, & a Few Other Things That Matter - Paul Chamberlain
I’m sort of resolving to only read books that I can’t put down – compelling stories – so keep that in mind if/when you chime in. I’ll post here when I start reading some of these and letcha know what I think!
Dear Cynic, Please Pray
I spent this past weekend in Dallas, shooting video for Family Life’s Weekend to Remember marriage conference. We stayed in this huge, decked-out hotel called the Gaylord Texan. It had all the amenities – indoor pool, outdoor pool, workout room, several restaurants, etc. I think we got gypped though, because the hotel across the street had indoor water slides. But I digress.
Sunday night, after the whole thing was over, I decided to head over to the hot tub to do some relaxing. I sat in the 103 degree water with my eyes closed, water dripping on my face from the rock-wall fountain, and I prayed. I hadn’t really just sat down and prayed in a while, and it was really pretty nice. Cause, if I really love and care about people like I say, why wouldn’t I want to pray for them?
So, what God did was, he started working on my heart a little bit. I realized that, more often then not, I capitulate to cynicism, rather than pray about a situation or person that irks me. And here’s why: it’s easier. It makes me feel better about myself. It requires no commitment. I can sit idly back and think, “Good Lord that person is stupid. Why doesn’t he just get it?”
I repent – to every person reading this – for thinking ugly thoughts about you, instead of having a loving and humble heart. I apologize for using you as a means to boost my own ego. I am sorry for passing up opportunities to encourage you in love.
I don’t want to wallow in cynicism; I think I’ve spent enough time doing that. What I want to do is pray without ceasing, be intentional about my life and about influencing those around me, and lead and encourage, all with love as my primary motivation.
When I opened my eyes in that hot tub, I looked up at the sign listing the guidelines regarding “hot tub activity.” (I can’t think of a better way to put that – lemme know if you have ideas.) One of the guidelines was, “No Diving.” And that’s what tomorrow’s blog post will be about.
Celebrities Are People, Too.
Steven Curtis Chapman performed this morning at Family Life. He played his first hit song, “The Great Adventure.” The full capacity crowd clapped, smiled and gave a standing ovation. Moms and Dads brought their children out for it. Everyone wanted to see Steven.
This got me thinking about how much we idolize our celebrities. It’s not like it’s the first time that I’ve thought about it or anything, but I had a fresh thought today.
First, we idolize celebrities for lots of reasons. Normally, they are good-looking. We like that. We want to look like them. We also appreciate something that they do. They act like other people for two hours. They sing songs that they wrote. They share their thoughts with us. We respect them and look up to them.
And so, if we ever get a chance to be around them, naturally, we are excited. We are nervous. This person, who has always just been a picture or a video or a word, is now a living being, standing right before our eyes. We can reach out and touch them. They are real.
Because they are finally real, we freak out, and sort of try to cram everything we’ve wanted to say to them into about 30 seconds, and we smile and nod a lot, and some of us even bow, sort of.
And that is why they remain celebrities to us. Because that is all the time we get to spend with them. Then they have to leave to go somewhere else, and we return to our mundane routines.
Here’s the fresh thought: If we hung out with them for 24 hours – or hell, 2 hours – we would leave no longer thinking of them as celebrities. That is, if we asked them important questions, and they gave us real answers, and it wasn’t all surface level stuff.
That’s why I don’t really understand why we are all so shocked when there is some kind of “celebrity scandal.” I mean, sheesh, how many “scandals” happen in your life every week? Or every day for that matter?
What it all comes down to is that, hey, we are all humans, you know? God has blessed us all in different areas, and some people get more attention because we have decided to give it to them. But we all have abilities and skill sets that are important and valuable. Some times it’s just that others have better opportunity or more motivation, or whatever.
That is why we should all be inspired to encourage everyone around us. Even people who don’t look like you, or don’t smell good maybe, or are kind of rude to you. Because your word of encouragement could be just the thing they need – it could radically alter the way they interact with their co-worker. And then, when they blow his or her mind but actually being kind for once, he or she might pass it on to someone else.
Celebrities are people. We are people. And while respect is something that is earned, I know this Guy who some times gives me a break, even when I don’t deserve it. So, hey, why not today, we give it a try?